False Start

The End of College Football as we know it...

The end is near… Meteors will strike the Earth, tsunami’s will engulf the Statue of Liberty, Alaska will fry and Africa will freeze. Excuse me while I step off my soap box and take off my “off the rocker” sign (see picture above)….

It was slightly more than a year ago when the motion was set by Jim Delany. The Big Ten needed to add another team; not just any team, but a marquee name in the sports and academic world.  Everyone and everything in the college football was turned off its axis. All of a sudden the PAC-10 decided it needed two more teams. Doom sayers were saying this was the end of college football soon we would have just 4 super conferences; any other college would be left in the dust to fight for the “Big Guy scraps”. What came from the panic and doom barely measured on the Richter Scale; Nebraska to the Big Ten and Utah and Colorado to the Pac 12.  The only seismic change was the rest of the country laughing at the preposterous names of the new Big Ten divisions. Well and the irony that the Big 10 now had 12 teams and the Big 12 now had 10 teams. The dust had settle and the college landscape remained for the most part as it had the previous year or so we thought…. 

Enter ESPN with Longhorn Network and a jealous rival in the Aggies to finally fulfill the prophecy so many thought would happen a year prior.  This time I believe it, its coming.. the end of college football as we know it.

The man who instigated the change in landscape, Jim Delany, recently told the press he was happy with the current 12 teams he had and that he was not looking to add anymore universities.  A nice cover, but even the blind can see this is a ruse. Everyone knows he is following this every step of the way knowing there is plenty of bounty if the Big 12 collapses. And so being a Big Ten fan I say to Jim Delany move fast and move quick to snatch up the bountiful colleges that can bring a new era to Big Ten country; along with the end the SEC dominance ^1. And so Jim Delany I decided to help piece map for you the schools and their ranking based on quality football and big market potential these schools can provide the Big Ten.  For such purposes I felt that of the major conferences the Big East, Big 12, and ACC would be the ones to collapse. Along with the fact that there must be close reasonable distant between them and the core of the Big Ten; this ones looking at you Big East and TCU may your ugly demented marriage work out somehow. Unfortunately the ACC in my opinion will end up in the SEC due to close proximity; although we would love to have UNC, Duke(for basketball and academics), Miami(thuggery and football assuming they survive the NCAA hearings), and Florida State. With that said…

7. Rutgers- Yes I know…. I don’t want my Big 10 teams to end up playing at Jersey either, but if your going for a big market viewers than I guess Rutgers needs to be in the convo.  Please Jim this is an if all else fails, I don’t need my football’s teams IQ lowered anymore than it has to be, we already have Ohio State and Indiana^2.

6. Syracuse- It fills requirements for being a good academic school and infiltrating the New York mecca of markets. Outside of that football quality of play does not improve with Syracuse on your squad. Although it would definitely help Big Ten Basketball.

5.Mizzou- Well Jim last time they thought they were jumping ship too. But like a fat girl at a frat party, Mizzou just stood there waiting for you to have beer goggles; hoping and wishing you would mistake her for a Texas or Oklahoma.  Now its time to make amends and make this fat girl happy. Mizzou is not all bad they are generally a top 20 team in both basketball and football and won’t affect the chance of a Michigan Ohio State Championship game you truly crave. Rivalries with new comer Nebraska and Iowa, makes sense to me from all aspects.

4. Pittsburgh- Two years ago they would of been the apple of the Big Ten’s eye outside of one other school; which we will talk later about. Going along with a similar analogy to Mizzou they were the triple threat girl; personality, beauty, and intelligence.  Pitt had it all. A football program that was always in discussion for BCS bowl games. Not to mention media darlings for winning it all in March Madness; never pick them they always falter against an unexpected team by sweet 16. All this along with the academics the Big Ten craves. You put this in a huge market like Pennsylvania and an added rivalry with an instate school in Penn State. What is not to like here. Well the football program has stumbled, but that doesn’t mean it can’t come back. Catch Pitt on the rebound Big Ten and you won’t regret such a decision.

3. Oklahoma and 2. Texas- Now we are getting to the big dogs here. The Big Ten would claim a major success if they could capture both Texas and Oklahoma. To add what arguably may be close to the best rivalry in college football^3. The premise would have to be similar to Michigan v. OSU where they are separated in to difference conferences which would be fine. Texas is exactly what the Big Ten wants; a wealth of sports, recruits, market size, and academic success. The problem is Texas will want to keep its new network deal with ESPN, meanwhile the Big Ten’s pride and joy is the Big Ten Network. Jim was a stickler for Notre Dame’s NBC contract, you don’t think this wouldn’t be a thorn in his side either? He needs to just let them have it, if it means acquiring them.  These schools are also going to want the Big Ten to pick up the unwanted schools of the Big 12 you know the Oklahoma State and Texas Techs of the world. Neither is spectacular academically or sports wise (Oklahoma State is equivalent of Mizzou in football). In the end I am not sure this would or will get done, but getting either one would be a victory. Although I am pretty sure its a package deal with them. Who doesn’t want to see Wisconsin Michigan Ohio State and Penn State battle Oklahoma and Texas I am salivating just thinking about it….

1. Notre Dame- Notre Dame is like the snobby stuck up girl who knows it would be best to join the Big Ten, but refuses to because she thinks its cooler to be independent as long as daddy, NBC, keeps picking up the tab. Jim needs to again put aside his pride and for the sake of the Big Ten allow ND to keep getting deals from NBC, if it means securing Notre Dame in its conference. Notre Dame already has huge rivalries with Michigan, MSU, and Purdue. They occasionally play Penn State and Indiana. I mean if you play 5 teams within the conference already why not just play the rest of the conference. Can you imagine ND and OSU or ND Wisconsin on a regular basis. I mean this is the prize possession because the fan bases are already familiar with one another and we all hate Notre Dame. Put Notre Dame in the Legends division with Michigan Nebraska and MSU and its perfect. ND to the big ten is like burgers to a bbq, just doesn’t seem right without it.

So Jim go on forth and bring back some prized possessions. What you do now will determine the fate of not just the Big Ten, but the entire college world. It is a free for all in the desolate landscape we now call college football.

FOOTNOTES

1. Mind you the SEC are the biggest frauds in the college landscape. They cheat whenever possible to get the best talent with very lenient academic standards compared to the rest of the nation. Where did the integrity go? 

2. I am pretty sure being in the same state boundaries as Snooki makes you 10 times dumber, and trashier. Should I make a further joke.. Nah too easy I’ll let you do it on your free time. Go ahead have a field day with it.

3. Sorry I don’t necessarily agree with this we all know its Michigan v. Ohio State its called The Game for a reason. But the Red River Rivalry is among one of the top games in the nation; along with the Iron Bowl between Alabama and Auburn.

NBA v. NFL

In past couple of months both the NBA and NFL have dominated headlines. Both had lockouts this summer, although the NBA is still on-going and may be at risk for losing part of a season a la 1999 or the entire thing like the NHL in 2004. Both came off fantastic seasons with Dallas beating the Heatles, and Green Bay winning the Lombardi Trophy. To most Americans when asked which league is better, I would bet money a majority would say the NFL without  much thought.  Such a question posed to me isn’t so easily answered. These are my favorite leagues(not including college) to watch; which will be apparent by the numerous amount of blogs I write on them. To me there is nothing better than watching prime time Thursday TNT basketball or Sunday football. I decided to break down each aspect and truly get to the bottom of which league, IN MY OPINION, is the better one.

Battle of the Commisioners

David Stern took over the NBA in the late 70s-early 80s right in time for Magic Johnson and Larry Bird to fall in his lap. The league under Larry O’Brien was struggling financially.  Viewers were tired of diva players with coke problems that were running rampantly throughout the league.  Fans could not relate to the NBA’s players or even its superstar player, Kareem Abdul Jabbar, as he usually wanted nothing to do with the public or the media.  David took what was a struggling league and turned it into what eventually became a global icon.  Was he lucky that Magic, Larry, and Michael fell into his lap (of course!), but nobody had the insight to market their players like Stern did. No one at that time or currently knew how to maximize the marketing potential of their stars better than David Stern. Look at how Michael Jordan is still one of the most recognizable and still most popular athletes of all time.  When issues arised Stern was proactive. Take for instance, Houston in ‘83 and ‘84 tanking two years in a row to get Hakeem Olajuwon and Ralph Sampson. Stern came up with the weighted lottery system for the top three picks where the worst team had the best odds at 25 percent ^1.  He seems to be one of the few that has made his game extremely popular throughout the world and into the gold mine we call China, a marketer’s wet dream. Although NBA enthusiasts might call this a mistake since they ruin the All-Star ballot^2. Meanwhile Roger Goodell has taken over for Paul Tagliabue, who made the NFL into the real American pastime of the new decade. In Goodell’s couple years as commish he has taken over issues such as player safety by penalizing players for unnecessary illegal hits in order to protect QB, RB, and WRs; you know the people fans pay money to come see. He has also increased the punishment for players with off the field issues, due to the dozens of off field incidents that occured when he first took over.  Many players have recently voiced their opinions on ESPN stating they did not like him^3. Anyway Rodger Goodell avoided missing any real football games this off season by reaching a compromise of how to split the $9 billion surplus, let me repeat that. The $9 billion revenue of your money, which you received no discount on anything for enduring such lawyer buffoonery this summer.

Edge NBA(+1 point)

Clash of the Owners

 Sorry Michael Jordan, but the key to a successful franchise is to always start with stable ownership. The franchises that win and win on a consistent basis have an owner that knows how to build the type of team he envisions.  This owner holds his employees accountable for making such visions come true. For the sake of the blog, though we are talking about entertaining me, there isn’t a kookier bunch of owners than the ones in the NBA.  Mark Cuban is the ideal owner, he is someone who wants to be part of the game and leave an imprint. You can tell he sees the NBA in the prism of a fan, I mean what other owner consistently sits court side and runs up to refs to complain about a petty call; all sports fans wish they could do that without being escorted from the building. What other owner has been able to be part of an awesome reality show in Shark Tank, danced with the stars, and a regular in the past two seasons of Entourage. There is none. For entertainment and winning purposes, Mark Cuban is the ideal owner. He is spawning a new breed of owners in the NBA, I mean look no further than Dan Gilbert who is so passionate about his franchise he wrote a pretty hateful email when Lebron James walked out on Cleveland.  Could you see any of the NFL owners doing that? Hell even the new Pistons owner Tom Gores had a little too much to drink at a Pistons game.  Jerry Buss gave Magic Johnson a 25 year 25 million dollar contract, partly because he just loved to party with Magic so much; and probably because showing his connection to Magic got him laid even more. The NFL has Jerry Jones one of the top executives who actually knows what he is doing on the field. When Jerry is not happy heads role, and he isn’t afraid to let the media know he is dissatisfied. Not only that, but he has built the greatest stadium in all of sports; $1billion, that is more dough than some nations can even accumulate.  Jerry can show his lighter side too of course, kind of… Closest thing we have to a crazy moment from NFL owners was Titans owner Bud Adams flipping the bird. Jim Irsay has recently gone on a tweeting spree; someone please take away his twitter capabilities I can not stand the thought of a 60-year-old man sounding like a 10 year old girl, check out his twitter page if you don’t believe me. I can name almost every NBA owner because, they in one way or another seem to have a quirky personality. I can’t name more than a handful of NFL owners.

Edge: NBA(+1 point)

Confrontation of Coaches

It’s always been known the coaches are leaders of the team. Their team should embody the values and principles that he instills. A great coach should make be able to maximize his talent and make the collective sum better than the individual parts. The only problem is in the NBA this has no bearing whatsoever. In fact coaches are a dime a dozen^4.  The problem in the NBA is only a handful of coaches truly matter and it isn’t because of their X’s and O’s knowledge, instead it was the fact they mastered the art of balancing egos.  Only Phil Jackson^5, Pat Riley, Chuck Daily, Greg Poppovich, Red Auerbach^6, and Larry Brown actually made their teams better by being on the bench. On the other hand, the NFL has built numerous dynasties around coaches. The coach and the system he made are integral to success. When a part broke down it could be substituted by another and still function relatively well, which is crucial in football due to the numerous injuries. Coaches mattered look at the names Gibbs, Walsh, The Big Tuna, Belchick, Lombardi, Noll, and Ditka. Hell Walsh had two QB dynasties under Montana and Young, which proves in football its the system not just the talent that wins and wins consistently. Plus who doesn’t love laughing at Rex Ryan run his mouth nowadays…

Edge NFL(+1 point)

Rivalries

Sports need a major rivalry without it there is no marquee game to draw you in. The NBA at its zenith had numerous rivalries where teams hated each other. The best was of course Lakers vs. Celtics, which had developed back in the day of Jerry West and Bill Russell. It only intensified after a great NCAA tourney finals between Magic and Bird; two rivals who measure their greatness against one another. Magic and Bird met three times in the finals. Along with those in the 80’s 90s the East was stacked with numerous great rivalries between Celtics-Pistons, Pistons-Bulls, Bulls-Knicks, Pacers-Knicks, Kings-Lakers, Bulls-Heat and Spreewell-Carlisimo. In recent years we have had Shaq v. Kobe every Christmas and what appears to be the development of a Mavs vs. Heat rivalry. The greatest rivalry in the NFL is claimed to be Bears v. Packers. To be honest when they come on tv it doesn’t register any different from any other divisional rivalry in the NFL. The only real rivalry in recent memory has been Peyton v. Brady. To be honest Brady has owned Peyton in playoff victories against each other and in total championships. At the end of the day Peyton can have all those records because they are meaningless in the debate of greatness when you can’t compete in total ring count. But you also have to account all the current rivalries in the NFC East. Cowboys fans hate the Eagles, Redskins, and Giants fan. Hell remember the Snickers commercials. “Hey Strahan how bout dem Cowboys!” Then Strahan tackles the fan. Strahan exemplifies the hate between everyone in the division.  We don’t even have to mention how Rex Ryan is renewing the rivalries between Jets/Giants/Pats.

Edge NFL(+2 point)

Playoffs!? Playoffs!? We’re talking about Playoffs!?

The reason the regular season is played. We are comparing best of seven series over two to three months in the NBA to one and done in the NFL, in about a month. The playoffs in general are to crown the best team, but when you play one and dones it allows for wild cards to make runs(Champions 2010-11 Packers, 07-08 Giants and four other teams). Meanwhile in the NBA the format generally follows a predictable playoffs until the Conference Finals, due to the underdog team having to win four games; exception ‘86 Rockets, ‘99 Knicks, ‘94 nuggets, ‘07 Warriors, ‘11 Grizzlies. Of those teams only the Knicks and Rockets went farther than one round, case in point upsets are rare in the NBA and Cinderellas going to the finals are nearly impossible the way the format is set up. What makes sports fun is seeing the unfathomable, we want to see the ‘08 Giants hand the 18-0 Patriots a loss on the biggest stage. By far one of the best Super Bowls ever, even though all the excitement was in the 4th quarter. On top of that the Superbowl is a worldwide spectacle; corporations save up money to advertise. Other networks plan major events during half time to steal some viewers for a brief period before the game starts again. An NBA game seven in the finals could never come close to that. Give me the one and done.

Edge NFL(+2 points)

Pregame Shows

I am going to make this one simple any time you have Charles Barkley on your show like TNT does the hilarity just doesn’t stop. E.J., Kenny and C-Webb intermingle well and keep it informative and hilarious all at the same time. NFL pre game shows have become a celebrity spectacle of how many famous ex-NFL players/coaches can we cram into at the table until Bill Cowher’s chin pokes one of their eyes out. For every great analyst like Steve Young you have one knuckle head in Emmitt Smith or a Shannon Sharpe who looks and talks like a horse.

Edge NBA(.5 pts)

Cheerleader Combat

Such a hard category, I keep looking at more and more pictures from both sides and keep going back and forth. The thing is NFL cheerleaders have always existed and been a part of the game for God knows how long; hell they made a porno about a girl who will do anything to become a Cowboy Cheerleader. In the NBA it is a recent phenomena that started somewhere in the 80s with the Laker Girls.  Along with the fact there is more downtime in football to observe the cheerleaders.

Edge NFL(.5 pts)

Refs

The NFL refs seem to do an extremely good job compared to the NBA refs in getting the calls right. Whether its the fact they only have to pay attention for 10 seconds of actual play with 20 seconds of nothing between plays may help.  The difficulty in reffing NBA games is there is constant fast paced motion with only 3 refs to monitor 10 guys. Oh yea there was also a guy named Tim Donaghy.  Not to mention the extreme favoritism shown to the superstars.

Edge NFL(.5)

All Star Game

Seeing as most NFLers don’t even want to participate in the game, shows its meaningless in performance, but prestigious in honor. It’s hard not to blame them since football, no matter in what type of game can lead to injury, which could affect future earnings. Meanwhile the NBA turns it into a spectacle. You have the Slam Dunk Contest which recently has become more of an acting spectacle than you know, an actual dunk contest, thanks Dwight Howard. Other events like the player skills challenge, and the 3pt contest. Even though the game has no meaning come 4th quarter the player egos won’t let them lose.  All in, the NBA makes the best watchable All-Star weekend.

Edge NBA(+.5 points)

Play on Players

The main attraction, why the fans hand over the money to millionaire owners. What I love about the NBA is that you feel a connection with the players. You can tell when they are mad, ecstatic or pissed-off at the refs. It’s all out in the open.  They let their emotions out with facial expression and body language. The NBA offers the most recognizable athletes in U.S. sports due to the fact they are great marketing tools. Everything is transparent and visible to the fan’s eye rather than behind helmets and padding.  Basketball I say is like human poetry when played properly there is an innate flow, rhythm and beauty. It’s continuous perpetual motion that allows for non-stop action and constant scoring.  I don’t even have to mention the jaw dropping dunks and alley-oops these guys do.  Plus the players know how to work the room whether it’s on or off the court.  Who could resist Magic’s charm, the competitiveness of Jordan, the playfulness of Nash, the intensity of Garnett, the humor of Shaq or Charles or the wisdom of Russell. Lebron James made millions when people all over the world tuned in to watch “the Decision.” No NFL player could have such pull. Ron Artest caused a melee, admitted to doing drugs during his early career years and is in the process of changing his name to Metta World Peace.  I haven’t even mentioned Dennis Rodman or Charles Barkley. How many little kids in the 90s loved Space Jam with Jordan. The players just posssess personalities that draw you in. 

Meanwhile, the NFL is a man’s league. Who doesn’t love hits so hard it knocks the other player out; hits that make you curl up in a ball even though it wasn’t you taking the shot. The game planning of intricate defenses and offenses that few laymen can truly have a full grasp on.  The punishment these guys must go through in order to score.  A sport where it truly is a team dependent, rather than individual.  If one link fails the entire chain is ruined. The NFL makes you channel your inner warrior. Who doesn’t love creative TD celebrations like the numerous Ocho Cinco has done in his years at Cinnci or Steve Smith in Carolina. The problem is the NFL cracks down on such moments making it more difficult for real player-fan connections. Although wide receivers can be divas, they also provide excitement to the game on and off the field. Although talking about T.O. over the years did get pretty annoying. The problem is that most NFL players are too straight laced and professional; not saying I have a real problem with this, but where is the entertainment in that. I don’t want to hear Brady compliment Manning.  I want him to say something like “Of course I am the better QB I have three rings to his one. Look at my playoff records. Why is this even a debate!?” It’ll never happen. Like Bill Plaschke of the LA Times once said the “NFL” stands for the No Fun League. The NFL limits the kind of playful interactions they have on the field with fans as well as off, he explained.  Outside of T.O. and Ocho Cinco the league really doesn’t have too many oddball characters. The beauty of the league is it doesn’t truly need it to be successful.

Edge NBA(+2 points)

NFL 6 - NBA 5

So there you have it, I confirmed the American public’s perception of the two sports. The NFL eeked out a 50 yard field goal to win the battle. Although I love the NBA, in recent years it has been lacking the intense rivalries and do or die playoff excitement that the NFL has.  The NBA brings a kooky cast of characters that I love, but it needs some reworking. It needs to prevent player collaborations so that the small market teams like Cleveland, Sacramento, Indiana, Milwaukee, and Charlotte. These also need to be more efficient in the contracts doled out to players;shorter term and wiser spending. Along with incentives to stay with the team that drafted them. A problem the NFL never will encounter since even the small market teams are prosperous. All in all I still think the NBA is a great product as you can see above, but there is no denying the NFL its right as King of Sports^7

FOOTNOTES

1. The worst team since 1985 has won the rights to the number one pick 5 times; this does not include Cleveland this year since it was actually the Clippers pick, acquired by trading Mo Williams for Baron Davis and 10 buckets of KFC, which he ate on the plane ride over before the physical.

2. In fact if the NBA did not take Jianlian Yi (last seasons stats 5.6 pts and 3.4 boards, scream all star to you?) name off the ballot he would probably have been an NBA all star every year since entering the league.

3. Well unfortunately for you Ray Edwards and James Harrison, he is not paid to be your friend, but rather to be your boss. Plus when did it start becoming a big deal that a commissioner was not liked by his players. Most Americans hate their boss isn’t that just the American way.  

4. Every year at least five to seven teams fire their coach like clockwork. Ask Joe Dumars he is on his fifth coach in eight years. They use this as a way to get the fan interest back by blaming the previous coach.

5. People will say Phil was lucky to inherit Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant, but ask Doug Collins and Rudy Tomjanivich just because you have superstars doesn’t mean you can guarantee rings. Michael Jordan had trouble trusting teammates and Kobe Bryant needed to satisfy an desire to be the next Michael Jordan, only Phil knew how to reach both.  

6. No one was better at lighting up a stoogie and walking up and down the sidelines yelling at his players like Red. I think he only had 4 official plays he actually designed and let Cousy and Russell take care of the rest.

7. Until the rednecks take over and make NASCAR the King of Sports, god just shoot me now if that is the case…

Terrelle Pryor: The Wolverine Perspective

Today Roger Goodell is allowing Terrelle Pryor to enter the NFL supplemental draft. Pryor and his superstar agent Drew Rosenhaus should be popping champagne bottles tonight because he was on his way to the dreaded CFL, where the NFL hasbeens and unwanted college players end up.  This blog entry is not going to be talking about Pryor’s NFL ordeal, but rather the perspective of one Michigan fan and his three to four years of having to deal with him in a Buckeye jersey.

Pryor has been a controversial figure over the past four years.  He was labeled a diva in 2008 when he kept postponing his official announcement of where he wanted to play college ball. Many believed he merely just loved the media attention. Pryor and his family denied the claim by saying his decision was in fact a tough one to make. Whatever the reason he did this is insignificant now. Some were going as far as labeling him the savior of football. As the days continued he left Ohio State, Michigan, Penn State, and Oregon fans on the edge of their seats.  Every one of those universities had a reason why he was going to them.  OSU claimed they could prepare him best for the NFL. Michigan had just acquired Rich Rodriguez and his offense was geared toward a player of Pryor’s talents. Penn State was close to home and that his father preferred them, plus who could resist Joe Pa’s wrinkly 150 year old face. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfLYO3F4D78. COMEEE TO PENNN STATEEEE! Gets me every time I watch that clip. Finally, Oregon with Phil Knight’s, Nike Owner, donation to build one of the state of the art training facilities in the nation.  Again each had great cases to believe they were the one to bring in Terrelle Pryor, but who knew from that point on that two of these colleges would be so tremendously impacted by his decision. 

 The Decision of 2008

It was my senior year in college at the University of Michigan. We had all just witnessed the craziest season of college football any person could witness. I was there in the Big House when Appalachian State did the unthinkable, and left me standing their stupefied as to what I had just witnessed.^1 It was Lloyd Carr’s last year and Wolverine fans were split, some wanted him to continue.  It’s hard to remove a coach that got you 10 wins and a shot at a BCS bowl every year. The other side wanted him gone due to repeated losses to Jim Tressel and The Ohio State. Both sides of the rivalry know that you can go 1-11 in the season and still call it a successful season if that win was over Ohio State. Eventually they regained composure to beat a Tim Tebow led Florida, his only Bowl loss by the way, to send Lloyd Carr out as a champion.^2 Enter Rich Rod, a man UM would never truly accept as the new leader of the Wolverines^3.  He made promises to upstart the offense to a level never before seen in the Big Ten. Wolverine fans were salivating at the thought of a fresh exciting passing attack rather than the run it up the middle smash mouth football we had seen for oh so many years. There potentially waiting in the wings was the perfect QB to run this system.  Pryor decided to visit UM in the middle of winter. Everyone was stoked, this was our chance to impress the hell out of the kid and get Michigan Football back to where it should be. He came to watch a Wolverine basketball game and us students decided to throw a block party in his honor and show that Ann Arbor is one of the greatest cities on earth. Unfortunately it was negative 10 degrees Fahrenheit with the wind.  I thought to hell with it, I layered on the clothes, strapped up my boots and buttoned my coat.  When I arrived to where block the party was supposed to be, the street was empty, all we heard was the whaling wind.  My friends and I walked down the street and it was dead.  A bunch of houses were playing music and had a good amount of people in them but a no-holds-barred Terrelle Pryor welcoming party this was not. I felt we had let Pryor down because I know that Michigan football fans are some of the most passionate fans on the face of the Earth, unlike other Big Ten teams…^4. Now it was decision time, Pryor and three hats; UM, OSU, and PSU. He grabbed the OSU hat and would send Michigan Football into a spiral of despair.  We were stunned, how could he reject Michigan with the master of the spread in Rich Rod, he was making a mistake. Meanwhile OSU thought they won the lottery only to find out three years later he would return the favor.

Pryor after his first game

Pryor had just finished a so-so game against the army when reporters noticed he had painted Mika Vick, this was the year Vick was arrested for dog fighting, under his eyes.  When asked to explain Vick’s name being painted he said, 

“Not everybody’s the perfect person in the world.  I mean everyone kills people, murders people, steals from you, steals from me, whatever. I think that people need a second chance, and I’ve always looked up to Mike Vick, and I always will. I know what happened with him and, I mean, I don’t want to talk much. I’m just going to be very short and sweet with it, but I just feel he made his mistake and I think he just needs more support.” 

Don’t believe me that such words of stupidity could come out of the mouth of someone who had played the media so well a couple months prior. Fine just because I love watching the clip 

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xaf7av_terrelle-pryor-quote-about-michael_sport.

I think when Tressel heard this he crapped his pants instantly. After cleaning himself off, press cleaning his sweater vest, and praying to Jesus about how someone at this current time could publicly support Vick with the kind of verbal diarrhea that spewed out of Pryor’s mouth; he decided Pryor can not talk to the media ever again that season or when he did Tressel had to be by his side.  As a Michigan fan nothing provided more entertainment than seeing what was a prize QB speak like a 10-year-old. Since when does everyone kill or murder people? Why should those same people deserve a second chance? I believe they are put in prison for life. Anyway it was all good until he beat us, and by he I mean Beanie Wells.

The tattoo/golden pants scandal that wouldn’t disappear

Well anyone who watched ESPN, read Sports Illustrated, or had half an inkling of interest in college football knows about the scandal that brought OSU down. Pryor and other students sold memorabilia in order to survive on the mean streets of the campus in Columbus, Ohio. I mean tattoos are right up there with food, water, and shelter in survival.  If you don’t believe me talk to Terrelle Pryor, his family was struggling. So in order to help them out he sold golden pants, signed autographs, which got him multiple discounted tattoos. Anyway I am not going to go into the nitty gritty of this whole thing, but as someone who considers Pryor an enemy I still think the rule is archaic. He makes millions of dollars for OSU and the NCAA.  If while playing there he gets tattoos and cars, isn’t that a right of being a good player.  I mean if he destroyed his leg in college and could never play football again, you wouldn’t see the NCAA or OSU give him an extra dime other than the scholarship he received upon admittance. A rule is a rule no matter how silly. Pryor and Tressel covered it up instead of fessing up. The NCAA originally decided to ban him for 5 games, yet let him play in the BCS bowl game. No one can explain why it was OK for Pryor and the other students to play in the bowl game, but they were going to be banned this year for the first five games^5. Oh my! You mean they couldn’t play Akron, Ohio, Ohio Tech State University, and the Alaskan Eskimos?? The only game that this suspension would of hurt them for was the Michigan State game.   

OSU lost one of the greatest coaches they ever had, along with being hit with scholarship losses and voiding of the 2010 season. The best part is there probably is still more penalties as a second letter from the NCAA came to OSU.  Although if you are one of the few that still thought Pryor’s brain was larger than a peanut; then you probably were disappointed when he brought an extremely expensive convertible to a press conference to defend his coach^6.  Since no strapped for cash college student can get such a car, we all know a shady under the table deal happened. 

The Future

Terrelle Pryor you tormented my fan base for the past couple years, and now the Buckeyes are cursing your name too. You left them in a huge muck, while you’re trying to become a professional backup in the NFL. Word of advice make sure your coach never lets you speak to the media.  We have seen how well that went. I wish I could say I wish you the best of luck, but you played for the enemy and I can in no way shape or form root for you, unless the Detroit Lions pick you up^7….

FOOTNOTES

1. To be fair Michigan had Mike Hart and Chad Henne injured in the first half and both came back in the second half to try to overcome the deficit. On the other hand Armanti Edwards ran the same 2 plays against us and somehow we could not stop either one.  

2. I actually believe one of two things happened: Lloyd was forced to retire by Bill Martin since they couldn’t fire a Bo Schembechler prodigy who won a National Championship. Or he realized he did a terrible job recruiting and decided he was leaving with Jake Long, Mike Hart, and Chad Henne. I am actually going with the first one.

3. He had an ugly divorce with West Virginia when trying to reach a buyout agreement. He recruited shady players and thugs. Pac Man Jones anyone? Let’s be honest, that West Virginia accent was a little creepy.  It reminds me of something straight out of Deliverance. 

4. Looking at you Indiana, Illinois, Northwestern, Minnesota, and MSU pre- Dantonio. Yeah I said it MSU fans, half of you guys would claim same old Spartans and then stop cheering your team on once you hit the wall against a Big Ten team. But to be fair you had to deal with John L Smith that’s like slapping yourself in the face every game, wait a minute….

5. Please we all know the real reason was the NCAA didn’t want to lose huge amounts of money due to a depleted OSU playing Arkansas. Big Bowl Games and money talks. Just saying if it were say a Boston College in the Motor City Bowl the NCAA would of said “F you” to Boston College for even thinking of such a thing. 

6.  Which is hilarious because the allegations included Pryor receiving benefits from a car dealership too.

7. They aren’t. Jim Schwartz has three young QBs and does not want the headache of babysitting an ignoramus. Or so I hope…..

TNT's bad hire in Shaq

If you read any of the current articles on ESPN most of the experts and analysts think Turner Broadcasting made an excellent hire in Shaquille O’Neal.  To be fair nothing is better than coming up with the next nickname for Shaq. All you need to do is put Big in front of a word and it instantly becomes another name to add to the pile The Big Diesel has acquired during his playing career. Let’s be honest who doesn’t love the humor Shaq can provide.

But the problem is Shaq doesn’t bring anything to the table in the aspect of analysis. His first day on the job involved a cheap shot at Chris Bosh, calling the Miami Heat ”The Big Two”. Even my grandmother could give that analysis and she doesn’t know who the hell Chris Bosh is. But The Big Cactus did what he does best; create controversy. Shaq Fu just can’t leave a place quietly, Just ask Miami, L.A, and Orlando. Shaq then went on to tell viewers that the NBA championship, assuming there is going to be one next year, will be won by an “underdog”. The Big Aristotle should know full well the NBA is clearly a league of haves and have nots. When referring to underdogs we like to think of a team like the 2010-11 Memphis Grizzlies. What I think Superman is referring to is a team like the Thunder, Spurs, or Bulls since he only mentioned the Celtics, Orlando *1*, L.A, and the Big Two. It’s an empty prediction just like The Big Shamrock’s analysis, that’s assuming you can make out what he is saying.

Now you’re probably asking why I hate the move so much. Well to be honest I love the Thursday Night Roundtable the way it is with Chuck, E.J, Kenny “The Jet” and C-Webb. It’s perfect they provide concise analysis that makes you think and learn something about the game. I mean yes teaming up Charles Barkley with Shaquille will on some nights be a riot, but what about the nights where The Diesel is just completely off and trust me it will happen. Even worse the move will probably come at the cost of C-Webb being moved to NBA TV, which isn’t too bad since he and Gary Payton are hilarious together. 

But C-Webb’s analysis is phenomenal and you can feel the passion he has when talking about the game. You already have your funny man, with the off the wall predictions that everyone jokes about in Chuck. They don’t need a second one occupying that role.  Even when Chuck makes an inane comment it’s usually backed up with reasons unlike what The Big Leprechaun did. It could play out even worse with the dreadful five man roundtable where no one is sure when they are supposed to be talking and they try to interrupt each other constantly. Look no further than all the nfl pre-game shows where big names keep getting added until the table is the size of a Charles Barkley’s ass.  In the end TNT will realize the Big Analyst will fall just as flat as their other trial with Reggie Miller(good analysis just impossible to understand) and they will have to figure out a way to use Shaq since they paid him The Big Bucks.

1. Orlando!? Thats the team you consider a contender to win a championship!? Really Shaq? The Magic just mortgaged their future for a expensive, gimpy, gun-toting Gilbert Arenas and aging vets in J-Rich and Hedo Turkoglu. Along with the fact that Dwight Howard is already halfway out the door. Following the foot steps of the original Superman eh Dwight?